Mark Reep, age 10, of High Shoals, North Carolina, for his question:
What is the best remedy for anger?
This is THE QUESTION the key to peace on earth, human happiness and most of our other heavenly dreams. We live in an angry world and there is no sensible excuse for its destructive fury. But because it is there, we should learn to cope with it. Some of the answers we already know, deep inside, and when we ask ourselves serious questions, we usually listen. So when we ask how to cope with anger, we are already halfway home.
Anger is a natural human emotion, highly charged with energy. Medical science explains that it wells up with extra strength to help a person fight or flee to safety. Psychologists study another side of the emotions. They say that anger is related to fear, and we know that nature provided fear to warn and protect us. Certainly anger often wells up when we fear something threatens us. And certainly a furiously angry person tends to infect us with fear or anger, or both. But when we know how to cope with it, we don't have to get angry just because somebody else does. In fact, that only fans the fire of fury.
Actually, we don't want to eliminate natural anger entirely. It warns us and provides extra energy to cope with danger. But like all strong human emotions, anger often uses cunning and selfish tricks. It also can get out of control and go on a raging rampage. We need to understand it, to face it head on, and learn how to control it.
When a person feels a hot surge of natural anger, he should ask himself whether there is a good excuse for it. Maybe he or someone else is really hurt or threatened unfairly. In this case, the person should use the energy that comes with anger to solve the problem in a positive and humane way for himself or for his fellow man. This is controlling anger and putting its energy to good use. However, to benefit from this method, a person must be strictly honest with himself.
When anger surges up, we must ask ourselves what triggered it, and demand an honest answer. For example, an infant may have an angry tantrum because he can't have enough lollipops to make himself sick. Any of us may get angry when we don't get our own way, when we want something impossible right now or something that's unfair to others. But when we face up to these sneaky human traits, we usually laugh and the anger melts away. Those of us who refuse to face these facts honestly, often let anger get out of control. Ashamed to admit our childish excuses, we sometimes blaze forth with furious rage. This solves nothing and the useful energy is wasted. If unchecked, such rages sometimes lead to dangerous violence and destruction. What's more, other people get infected with fear and anger. The best remedy is to remain cool and out of range of any possible harm we might inflict on someone.
Natural anger is useful and we need it. But rage is anger out of control and there's nothing useful or funny about it. Some people compare it to a rampaging elephant, but this insults the animal kingdom. Animals feel anger for good reasons but they cannot control it. Human rage is so ugly because people can and should control anger with intelligent dignity.